My sister lives in Berlin, so instead of waiting until our schedules align for a phone call, we swap voice messages. What’s especially cool is that, since it’s asynchronous, there’s no pressure — we both get to set the pace that works for us whether we’re listening or talking. I wish I could take the credit for this brilliant communication hack, but it was all her idea.
Recently I was sharing with her about a breakthrough I'd had in a session with my creative advisor (whom I think of as my coach) that felt relevant to a situation she was going through. In her reply, she suggested I share some of the insights I've gained from working with him in my newsletter, which I thought was yet another great idea from my genius sister. (I'm not exaggerating - she's a neuro-linguist who speaks 5 languages.)
So without further ado, here are three of the most important lessons I've learned from working with my coach:
Measurement matters. This is one of my biggest challenges as an entrepreneur — looking at how my business grows over time so I can be more intentional about it. As I mentioned last month, I am not naturally disciplined, consistent, or interested in the past, so this is something I absolutely would not do on my own. One of the ways I manage to do things that are hard for me is to create accountability to someone else, and so my coach serves two roles in helping me track and measure data: 1) he reminds me (regularly) why it’s important, and 2) I know he’s going to ask me for updates, so I find the time to update my spreadsheets before he asks (most of the time!).
Zoom out! When I come up against obstacles that seem insurmountable, my coach is incredibly helpful at making me tackle big challenges by helping provide perspective. His knowledge and experience working with other clients give me a point of reference I wouldn’t know how to seek out otherwise. Plus having someone in my corner who accurately and empathetically reflects and affirms my efforts is a game changer.
Trust My Unique Voice. Like most of us (especially those of us conditioned female by the world), I sometimes struggle with what Amanda Palmer calls the “fraud police”, defined as “the imaginary, terrifying force of ‘real’ grown-ups who you believe are going to come knocking on your door in the middle of the night, saying… We have evidence that you have NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING.” Working with my coach has helped me silence those nasty voices so I can trust my instincts and experience and confidently share my unique perspective.
I hope my coaching clients have a similar experience of feeling both cared for and expertly advised. If we’ve worked together, I would love to hear from you about the impact my coaching has on your leadership! I know I am stronger, more consistent, and more effective at all the work I engage in because I have had such a wonderful collaborator and confidante in my corner for the past 5 and a half years.
Email me at Hanna(at)RingmasterConsulting.com.
When you let go of trying to be good at things that other people are great at, you suddenly have all this energy to invest in what you are naturally great at! Sure, I’m an undisciplined, inconsistent flibbertigibbet - that’s because I am creative, spontaneous, optimistic, and willing to take risks – of course I can’t be both.
Read More
With the holidays fast approaching, you’ve probably started thinking about what gifts you want to get for the people you love. But I’ll wager there’s someone important you’ve left off your list… your future self.
Read More
A circus is nothing if not a “strengths-based” organization. A group of people with unique and irreplaceable talents come together to build something greater than the sum of its parts. The audience is captivated by the sight of people performing these impressive feats of artistry, flexibility, and bravery.
Read More
Accountability feels like something where you’re the kind of person who is good at it (a hard-ass who doesn’t care if you hurt people’s feelings), or the kind of person who is terrible at it (a marshmallow who cares too much about people’s feelings), and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Read More
Leadership is all about relationships — with your followers, peers, supervisors, colleagues, network, etc. Even outside of work our lives are filled with and defined by the relationships we have with others: spouse, parent, friend, child, sibling…
Read More
I spent my first couple years in management rather desperately trying to avoid the kind of confrontation necessary to hold my “problem employees” accountable for their actions. I bent over backwards to help them change, but ultimately *nothing I did* improved their patterns of problematic behavior.
Read More
I’m someone who thinks better out loud — thinking or reading alone doesn’t provide the kind of spark that conversation does, and it rarely activates my creativity in a way that leads to the insightful connections I’m known for.
Read More
No one enjoys holding other people accountable. It is uncomfortable, annoying, and frustrating as all hell. Unsurprisingly, many of my clients struggle with this critical part of management because it feels inauthentic and at odds with the compassionate, empathetic style of leadership to which they aspire.
Read More
I recently started coaching a small business owner for whom I am also a client. She is an absolute rock star in her profession, but her business is still very new and as we got to know each other I realized that she was exactly the kind of client I love to work with — brilliant at what she does but struggling to figure out how to grow her business in a way that supports her life.
Read More
A prospective coaching client wrote me an email recently admitting that she felt lazy about finding her potential through coaching, and she was worried she wouldn’t become engaged. When I read that I knew that we were a perfect match.
Read More
For a lot of people, just the thought of embarking on a strategic planning process sparks a headache. Endless wordsmithing around what makes for a compelling goal; tedious meetings drilling down into minutia of who will do what, when…
Read More
Evidently, when I was in elementary school, I took my grades very seriously. I don’t remember this phase of my life, because by the time I got to high school and college, I was not the world’s most dedicated student.
Read More
One of my favorite feelings is the experience of a truly perfect gift, regardless of whether I am the giver or the recipient. Great gifts (regardless of cost) make a person feel seen, understood, and valued.
Read More
Y’all. Can you believe there are only 6 weeks left in 2021? Time is the strangest thing… but I find that every year this moment just before the holidays is a turning point.
Read More
I am not a person who thrives on routine. My greatest talents shine ‘in the moment’, and since I’m a strengths-based coach, I do my best to align my work with my strengths. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean I get to avoid everything that I’m not naturally good at — I have goals for my growth as a person and a leader that require discipline, which is my nemesis.
Read More
For decades, we’ve been obsessed with the idea of organizations being “lean.” This word has always nagged at me. If you think of the animal world, “lean” is the equivalent of hungry, which is just one step up from starving. Hunger is distracting; starving causes trauma. Neither supports anyone doing their best work. Plus, being lean also means you’re ill-prepared to weather setbacks when they come, which they always will.
Read More
